Rants

Traitor? Hater? Or Bold New Sound? Chris Daughtry’s ‘Baptized’

Sure I played drums in a high school rock band, and though I had some ability, I wasn’t a big time talent like Chris Daughtry. And yet I find myself relating to his experience with his new album, Baptized. I’ll explain:

baptized

Last year I launched my newest science fiction adventure novel, Crossline. To date the reviews have been mostly excellent.

Mostly.

A few months ago, while doing promotion, one reader absolutely ripped me to pieces — I mean scorched me — saying that I had betrayed him, that I stole his money, having deceived him into buying such a terrible book, and that I should be ashamed of myself as an author for writing such drivel.

Why was he so angry? Why did he feel swindled? Crossline full cover.psd

Because the novel I delivered wasn’t the novel he was expecting. For those of you new to my work, my first novel Finders Keepers is a raunchy, science fiction backpacking comedy — think American Pie/Superbad meets Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy. It’s an all-out comedy that even drew some interest from Hollywood. This reader was drawn to my catalog based on Finders Keepers.

But while Crossline is filled with humorous moments — it might even make you laugh out loud in places; I hope it does — unlike Finders Keepers, it’s a science fiction adventure set, at least in part, during a civil war. And though the novel is absolutely loads of fun — with a host of female characters who are forces to be reckoned with, and are in many ways the true heroes of the story — during war, bad things happen, and sometimes to characters you like, or even love.

Which brings me back to Baptized.

Daughtry’s first three albums are rock albums. They kick ass, to different degrees. So … like many of his fans, when Baptized came out with a bold new sound, I was … shocked. I admit it. I didn’t quite know what I was listening to.

But as I had been through this experience myself, with my own work, and trusted that Chris would once again deliver the goods, I listened to the album, a song at a time, and then the entire playlist, over and over.

What’s my verdict now that I’ve gotten over my initial expectations, that I’ve accepted what Daughtry actually gave us, rather than what I thought I would get?

Thumbs up. cd boys

Chris and the boys have delivered a fun, radio-friendly pop album that shares some karmic DNA with Rhianna, Katy Perry, Fun! and others, with a mostly angst-less set list. I think this review here is pretty close to my own views, so I’ll pass it along for a more thorough song by song analysis.

With that, for me a few standouts on Baptized include the catchy, destined-to-be-a-hit “I’ll Fight”, about always being there for your kids (Chris I and both have young twins, so I relate), as well as “Cinderella”, a (mandolin?) based ditty with some snappy vocal hooks that could easily fit into Jack Johnson’s play list. “Long Live Rock and Roll” is an acoustic, thumping ode, and jest, about the joys of rock n’ roll, while “The World We Knew” and “High Above the Ground” are joyful reminders to embrace your moments while you have them.

chrisD

I’ll also call attention to “Traitor”, the album’s one true rage against the machine. A sound I would have expected to come from Nine Inch Nails, it’s actually not quite in sync with the overall tenor of the album … but wow. I’ve rarely ever heard a song that conveys so much seething ire over feeling betrayed, combined with a ‘don’t f**k with me’ attitude. When Chris sings, “Are you sure you want to play this game?”, there’s a lilting in his voice like he’s just daring you to come at him. You know he means business.

And if I had one ‘wish’ for any song on the album? It’s that Chris and the boys go all out on “Undefeated”. It’s a good, rousing tune as is, about staying on your feet no matter what life throws at you. But I submit that if re-recorded in a concert hall and accompanied by a 50-piece orchestra and an equally sized choir, it would have the scope and gravitas — the soaring power — to become EPIC. chrisd2

So where does that leave me?

Baptized may not be the rocker Chris has typically delivered in the past — it wasn’t what I expected — but it’s a damn good entry in the Daughtry catalog. You can dance a little, groove a little, and, when the album really hits its stride, clap your hands and smile.

And as for the reader who initially tore into me because he felt betrayed? In time, I won him over, too.

🙂

 

My New Year’s Resolution – Listen to Hank

When I think back to a year ago — one year ago exactly — I was in a similar, but distinctly different place in the world.

I was geared up, feeling good, had lots of positive mojo going, and beyond work and the family, I knew that 2013 was going to be a huge year for me on the writing front. I knew it in my bones.

I was about to finalize Crossline, my first original novel with Crazy 8 Press, and I was working on the re-launch of my debut novel, Finders Keepers, also with Crazy 8 Press.

And then ……. I got bronchitis. I typically don’t get more than one or two colds a year, but I managed to pick up some super strain from my kids, and I was really sick.

For four. Straight. Months.

Not fun.

Then, the day I finally stopped coughing, and felt good … I got nailed with some wicked stomach virus that wiped me out for three days. Grrrrr.

I ultimately got my health back, and I did, in fact, release both books through Crazy 8 Press, to critical praise. But I was also in the process of selling my apartment in Queens, and buying a house in New Jersey, which also meant packing, and moving, and lawyers, accountants, realtors, plumbers, electricians, painters, and so much more.

By the time 2013 ended, I was simply exhausted.

So what’s my New Year’s Resolution for 2014?

To remain as healthy as I can, to enjoy my new home, and continue to watch my children grow and thrive.

And while I’m at it, keep building the buzz on Crossline and Finders Keepers, do as many signings, and appear at as many cons as I can, and debut the Finders Keepers sequel, which, if all goes well, will be showing up this fall.

Ambitious? Maybe.

But you know what? If all my authordude endeavors weren’t just a little bit, well … crazy, and at least kinda BIG … then it just wouldn’t be any fun, now would it?

Because as my Finders Keepers giver-of-wisdom Hank would say, “If it comes too easy, Kid, it probably ain’t worth doing in the first place. So stop yer belly achin’ and go get it done.”

Thanks for the advice, Hank. I’m doing just that.

My New Year’s Resolution is now officially under way.

 

* Note: This blog originally appeared on the Crazy 8 Press web site at: http://www.crazy8press.com/2014/01/13/my-new-year-resolution-listen-to-hank/

The Pen & Muse Interview with Author Russ Colchamiro

Interviewer Denise Alicea w The Pen & Muse book review site stopped by to chat with me about my new book, the mysterious, action-packed space romp, Crossline, what inspired the story and the characters, and advice I might offer to new writers:

Interview with author of Crossline, Russ Colchamiro!

Q: Where are you from? Tell us a little about yourself!

A: I live in Queens, NY, married with two kids and a crazy dog. I’m a baseball junkie, and I love to travel whenever I get the chance, which hasn’t been much since fatherhood came along! And I probably shouldn’t watch it as much as I do, but The Big Bang Theory is total comfort food for me. When it’s on, all is well.

Q: Tell us about your book? How did it get started?

A: Published through Crazy 8 Press, Crossline is a rollicking space adventure about an American space pilot — Marcus Powell — who has been selected to test Taurus Enterprises’ Crossline prototype ship and its newly developed warp thrusters, which, if successful, will revolutionize space travel as we know it.

But during his journey Powell is forced through a wormhole and into a parallel universe —including a parallel Earth — where he finds himself at the center of a civil war he may have been destined for all along.

On this other Earth, he reluctantly teams up with a gorgeous, trigger-happy rebel leader, a pot-smoking Shaman, a crafty pie maker (watch out for her!), and a weary soldier who really hates his guts. Powell then has to survive a cross-country rescue mission with them and some trippy vision quests long enough for his wife and young daughter — who are back on his home Earth — to outsmart Taurus’ reclusive CEO, whose own secrets may prevent Powell from ever making it back home.

So what you’ve got with Crossline is a really fun scifi adventure, mixed in with humor, action, and mystery to solve. I think people will dig it.

The origin of Crossline is two-fold. It began as a short story trilogy I wrote in high school, around 1987 or so, very loosely based on the ‘troubles’ in Ireland, even though I really knew almost nothing about it. Ha! And then about ten years later I started working on a space adventure comic book idea. It never saw publication, but I knew I wanted to tell this epic adventure as a novel. But the short story trilogy is really the heart of Crossline. The space component then gave it a setting to become fully realized.

It’s a bit more intense than the novel itself, but here’s a pretty cool book trailer to give you a scope of the novel: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mJ8fey7_4VA

Q: How do you create your characters?

Click here to read the rest of the interview …

 

Laurie’s Thoughts and Reviews Q&A with Author Russ Colchamiro

Hi Gang-

Below is a new Q&A interview with yours truly, courtesy of book reviewer and interviewer Laurie from Laurie’s Thoughts and Reviews. Here we talk about my latest novel, the mysterious scifi space romp, CROSSLINE, my favorite TV shows, whether I’m an early morning chirpy bird or grumpy bear (take a guess), and where I would go, anywhere in the world, if my publisher was footing the bill:

Welcome Russ!  It’s so great of you to stop by today and agree to answer some questions .  I’m excited to find out a little about you and your books.

How did your start your writing career?

I wrote a King Arthur-style short story in the third grade. It was pretty bad, but I had fun with it. Then in high school I wrote a short story trilogy — about the ‘troubles’ in Ireland, of all things — which is actually the basis of my new sci-fi space adventure, Crossline. Go figure. So Crossline was actually 25 years in the making. But before that I started to get more serious about writing in college, and became a journalist professionally, so I was always writing.

But in terms of fiction I dabbled with comic book scripts and more serious short stories in my 20s, when I needed to sort of prime the pump, and get some really awful writing out of my system. And then about 10 years ago I started writing what became my debut novel, Finders Keepers. It’s been non-stop ever since.

Describe what it’s like to be an author in three words.

Thrilling. Heartbreaking. Exhausting.

If I came to visit early in the morning would you impress me as being more like a chirpy bird or a grumpy bear?

Grumpy bear, definitely. I don’t drink coffee — I’ve actually never had a cup of coffee, ever — so it takes me a while to ‘wake up’, even after I wake up. It’s nothing personal to anyone. I just need a little ‘me’ time before I really get going. But I have two little kids, so they’ve trained me to jump into daddy mode pretty much on demand, whether I’m in the mood or not!

How do you react to a bad review of your book?

Thankfully there have been far more good ones than bad, but with the negative reviews, I admit they can get under my skin a little bit … but usually not for long. If someone criticizes my work and I think they’ve made a fair point, I try to incorporate those comments into how I think about writing going forward, and look at the feedback as an opportunity to improve as a writer going forward. And I’m not just saying that. Sometimes the truth hurts! Ha.

But if I disagree with the comment or I feel that it makes no sense, I let it go. It just doesn’t bother me. One reviewer gave Finders Keepers a low rating because he said it had too much naughty language. But there’s an F-bomb on the very first page, including a kinky love-making scene. He knew what he was getting into and he kept reading anyway. There’s a compliment in there somewhere. But what did he think he was going to read going forward? That one made me laugh.

Tell us about the absolute BEST fan letter you have received.

A few months ago I attended the LunaCon sci-fi convention in Rye, NY. I was at my table, promoting Crossline. And then I heard a girl’s voice. “Russ!” I turned around and saw Kelly*, who is now a freshman at Syracuse University. She met me at a convention about a year before, and bought and read Finders Keepers, which she loved. She asked me if I was working on the sequel, which I am, and if I would have it ready for LunaCon 2014. I told her I wasn’t sure, but that I’m trying. She said, “Don’t rush. Take your time. Make it great.” That’s about the best moment I could ask for.
(*Not her real name)

What are your favorite TV shows?

Yikes. Tough one, but here goes: Current shows: Dexter, Breaking Bad, The Big Bang Theory, Homeland, Game of Thrones, Justified, The Killing, Sons of Anarchy, Mad Men, The Americans. Of all time: Sports Night, Northern Exposure, The Sopranos, The Wire, Homicide, The Shield, Seinfeld, Friends, Scrubs, Battlestar Galactica (remake), Lost, The X-Files, The Office (U.S. version), The Honeymooners, The Simpsons, Family Guy, M.A.S.H., House, Brotherhood, ER, The Twilight Zone, Star Trek, Star Trek Next Generation, Cheers, Columbo, Law & Order, The Odd Couple

Say your publisher has offered to fly you anywhere in the world to do research on an upcoming book, where would you most likely want to go?

Hmm …. I want to be careful about specifics, as doing so would ruin a few surprises I have coming in new books that I’m working on, but it’s safe to say that one location is hot, humid, and rocky, and the other is really cold. And I mean REALLY cold. Use no more than two sentences.

Why should we read your new book, Crossline?

Crossline is part rollicking space romp, part parallel Universe stranger-in-a-strange-land adventure, and part mystery. It’s a pulpy epic tale that will keep you guessing — and out of breath — laced with great characters, plenty of twists, and loads of humor.

Click here for the full, expanded interview …

 

Russ’ Newsletter: Vol. 7, No. 1 – New Book — Crossline has a Deal!

Howdy Gang!

I hope everybody had a festive New Year’s and that you’re starting off 2013 with a bang.

Liz and I had an adventurous holiday break with our little ninjas, including lots of family time, and now we’re embarking on that classic rite of passage known as potty training! We also squeezed in a few movies, including The Hobbit (2-D version), which was a bit long, but had a great last hour, and Django Unchained, which was bloody, funny, and a bit too long, but also good.

As for my adventures in writing …

Crossline is a go! I have indeed secured a publishing deal, so you will be seeing Crossline in both e-book and print versions some time in March.

Woo Hoo!

As you may have heard (from me), Crossline is a modern-day Buck Rogers/Flash Gordon-style space opera, with my usual philosophical shenanigans mixed in. To get this galactic joyride into your hands (and eyeballs), I’ll be working with the maniacs — and I say that in the best way possible — over at Crazy 8 Press, who have had quite a bit of success in their own right.

The boys at Crazy8iatics, including New York Times best-seller Peter David, as well as Robert Greenberger, Aaron Rosenberg, Glenn Hauman, Michael Jan Friedman, and Howard Weinstein have until now only published their own works, so I have the honor (or is that dishonor?!) of being the first outside author to be invited inside the walls of Castle Crazy.

I’ll have many updates to share in the coming months, including specific publishing dates, snazzy artwork, and, of course, where you can buy your very own copy!

And in case you were wondering if I’ll be doing any conventions and signings …

Russ’ Spring 2013 Convention Schedule

Okay. C’mon. Admit it. You miss me. Well … yer in luck! I’ll have a table, will be doing signings, and may also speak on a few panels at the following sci-fi shows in early Spring:

* Lunacon: March 15 -17, Rye, New York

* RocCon: April 7, Poughkeepsie, New York

If you’d like to come by, stop over and howdy-do!

Rumblings About Finders Keepers II

And while Crossline launches (ha-ha), I’m already hard at work on the first of two Finders Keepers sequels. No word yet on a publishing date, but if all goes well, we’ll be seeing our fun-loving goofballs some time in 2014.

That’s all she wrote for this edition. But stay tuned for updates in the coming weeks and I’ll be sure to have lots of new info to share about Crossline

All the best,

Russ

Russ’ Movie Review: Skyfall – Shaken … or Stirred?

There’s been a lot of chatter out there about whether or not Skyfall truly measures up as one of the better, or even elite, James Bond movies, with Casino Royale generally considered by many (including me), to be one of the best in the series and certainly the best Bond outing in many years.

There have been those who felt Skyfall didn’t hit the mark, or that while it is a good movie, it isn’t a good James Bond movie. But I’m here to say this:

Skyfall.

Kicks.

Ass.

Skyfall is not only one of the best Bond movies in the entire 007 series, it’s one of the better movies I’ve seen this year.

What Worked: There is a LOT to like about Skyfall. First, it’s just a great looking and sounding movie, with exotic locales and all the polish a Bond movies deserves.

But on to Mr. Bond himself. Now in his third go as 007, Daniel Craig has never looked more comfortable in the character. Clearly a few years older since he first took the role, he really seems to understand who and what Bond is, and how to embody such an iconic character. Craig has the physical brute force required to handle death-defying situations, the intelligence for the ‘spy’ aspects, and enough charm to woo those lovely ladies.

Skyfall also gives us perhaps the most humanized take of James Bond in the entire series. The detractors say that such human foibles take away from 007, and led to their disappointment. I agree that the existential crisis Bond goes through would only work once. Skyfall has to be a stand-alone entry; it cannot be the model for future outings. But as a one-off, I found the layers of Bond quite compelling, and, in fact, drew me deeper into the character than ever before.

The plot, which borders on being too layered at times, has an actual story and theme, with Bond and others given the time to talk and think and reveal themselves. Unlike many Bond movies, there are only a handful of action sequences, allowing the story to unfold much more organically than we usually get with 007. The rewards are that I was genuinely interested in what was happening, rather than just waiting for something to blow up real good.

Beyond Craig himself, the cast is mostly superb. Judi Dench, as always, is fantastic as M, and we also get believable and even quirky performances from Ralph Fiennes, Ben Whipshaw as the new Q, and Berenice Marlohe as one of the most exotic and alluring Bond girls in a long, long time. And, of course, Javier Bardem as the villain Silva has just the right mix of being twistedly over the top without being a cartoon. He’s a warped mind with a real plan. Quite simply, he is a deadly and unpredictable foil for Mr. Bond.

The fun is back. After the pretty weak and unpolished Quantum of Solace, Skyfall was far more self aware and humorous, and those lighter moments helped elevate — and loosen up — what is a pretty intense movie start to finish. Whereas Casino Royale was more overt popcorn movie, Skyfall is more intense thriller.

What Didn’t Work: Without giving away too much, there wasn’t enough time spent with the Bond girls themselves. Bond is at his most devilish fun when he’s sparring with (and bedding) the delicious Bond girls, and in Skyfall, those scenes are a bit sparse, and one of the reasons I think the detractors didn’t feel that Skyfall was a true “Bond” movie.

Speaking of Bond girls, Naomi Harris as field agent Eve fell flat. Compared to the other performers, she was the weak link. She just didn’t exude the … Bond girlness … we want, and she didn’t bring enough sizzle to the repartee with 007.

As for the plot, Director Sam Mendes said that Christopher Nolan’s Dark Knight gave him the confidence to tackle certain themes that are typically absent in popcorn action movies. But with Skyfall, some of the plot is essentially an exact replica of The Dark Knight. The plot works within Skyfall unto itself, but I felt that, not only had I seen this before, I had just seen this before.

The plot also hinged on some pretty incredible timing, in parts, and I’m not sure it would really hold up under tighter scrutiny. Then again, it’s a James Bond movie, so how tight do we expect the plots to be? A minor blip, but a blip nonetheless.

Finally, the opening sequence is an extended action piece that, on paper, delivers real excitement. And at times, it did. But in others, I found the directing to be a bit mechanical. I wasn’t always as riveted as I wanted to be.

Shaken or Stirred?: Skyfall is an intense, riveting and thoroughly entertaining entry in the James Bond franchise that actually had something to say about fighting terror in the modern world, and in fact, is one of the best entrees in the entire 007 series. In some ways I liked Skyfall better than Casino Royale, although it’s not quite as fun, and time will tell if it will have that same “re-watchability” factor.

Whereas Casino Royale was a reboot, Skyfall is re-invigoration.

Skyfall missed opportunities, but for a James Bond fan that demands a real movie with his popcorn fun, I found that Skyfall delivered in a big, big way, and nicely sets up the coming adventures with a character that has finally shed his past so that he can fully engage in the future.

I can’t wait for what 007 has in store for us next.

 

Finders Keepers Hits NY Comic-Con 2012

Sorry I’m a little late on this one, but I’m still catching my breath after the NY Comic-Con.

I was there on Thursday of the 4-day event, but I got more than my money’s worth. Comic-Con is always such a madhouse, with Thursday being the most manageable day by far.

While there I got to see some of my writer pals, including No Small Bills and Too Small For Tall author Aaron Rosenberg, and Glenn Hauman — both with Crazy 8 Press — as well as Keith DeCandido and Star Trek author stud David Mack.

And, as always, I had my adventures with long-time partner-in-crime Rich Henn, who was out there slinging comics like a madman. We wound up having late-night burgers and beers — all was good in the end. Although the fries were wire-thin curly cue, so you had to eat them with a fork – or by the handful. Not prime French fry logistics, but that should only be my biggest problem.

During the show itself, I was out there doing the usual Finders Keepers promotion, and made a new fans, including:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And, of course, this dude:

 

 

 

 

This will likely be my last show of 2012, but based on what’s in the hopper, it’s starting to look like 2013 will be quite a year indeed!

 

Russ’ Newsletter: Vol. 6, No. 4 – 500,000 Hits for Finders Keepers!

Hi Gang-

With just two weeks until Liz and I jump off to Mexico to celebrate our ten year wedding anniversay — yep, it’s been ten years! Whoa! — I’ve got a special Finders Keepers update I think you’ll enjoy:

* As Finders Keepers continues to make its way in the world, it recently reached a pretty cool milestone. For those of you who are unaware, I was one of just a handful of  authors hand-picked a while back by Publishers Weekly to participate in one of its new partner outlets — Wattpad.com — to post content online. The Wattpad Web site is designed to give up-and-coming authors a venue to post their work, and, ultimately, get discovered.

With a steady readership I’m proud to say that Finders Keepers has now reached and surpassed the 500,000 hits plateau. That’s right, readers have now clicked on to at least portions of my debut novel more than a half a million times.

What will this all mean?

Not sure yet, but either way I’m feeling pretty darn good about it. And — pardon the pun — the hits just keep on coming. Is it possible I’ll eventually reach 1 million hits? Let’s find out …

BIG BIG BIG THANKS! to Publishers Weekly, Wattpad, and all the fans who keep on reading!

* And speaking of Finders Keepers, I have now begun my initial work on the first of two sequels! Yep. At long last I am revisiting the adventures of our international and cosmic globetrotting knuckleheads Jason Medley and Theo Barnes, and already have a pretty good idea of the kind of trouble they’ll be getting themselves into this time.

Expect more traveling, more philosophical shenanigans, and, of course, my customary doses of humor, fun, and cosmic lunacy.

There’s loads more to discuss, including highlights from the 2012 NY Comic-Con, but I’ll be sharing those in a special edition newsletter real soon.

Until then …

All the Best,

Russ

Russ’ Newsletter: Vol. 6, No. 3: Crossline Ready to Rock!

Hey Gang-

It was a long, crazy summer on my end, and with that a lot of news to report.

On the home front, my little ninja man decided to make a jail break out of his crib last week, and wound up breaking his wrist. It was my first trip to the ER as a dad, and while I sure hope it’s my last, I have a feeling it won’t be! Little ninja man is doing just fine, and will get his cast off in about three more weeks.

As for my adventures with words and such …

CROSSLINE IS COMPLETE!

It’s been a long time coming, but at long last my second novel — Crossline — is done! D-O-N-E done-done-done. Coming in at just over 90,000 words, Crossline is a fast-paced, modern-day space opera filled with action, adventure, my usual time-bending, philosophical shenanigans, and of, course, loads of humor.

It’s a great feeling to have polished off this bad boy, let me tell you.

But rest assured you will see Crossline in print in 2013 … one way or another!

Yeah, baby!

FINDERS KEEPERS SEQUEL ON TAP

So now that Crossline is done, what’s next? Ooooh. Glad you asked.

While I work on the business side of Crossline, I’ll be heading right back into the lab and will be hard at work on the first of  two Finders Keepers sequels!

That’s right. Your favorite globe-trotting knuckleheads Jason Medley and Theo Barnes will be at it again, off on another adventure where they try to figure out their place in the Universe without, you know … destroying it in the process.

My goal is to have Finders Keepers II ready to go by the end of 2013, so I better get cracking!

* MORE MILESTONE AHEAD

That’s all she wrote for this edition, but I can say it’s all but a guarantee that I’ll have another very cool milestone to announce next time. So until then, enjoy this fabulous weather, and to my Jewish friends, happy holidays …

All the Best!
Russ

www.russcolchamiro.com
@FindKeepNovel

 

ICON 2012: Where’s the Finders Keepers Movie?

Sorry for the delay in reporting back, but after ICON I got hit with a wave of colds and allergies that kept me in no-man’s land for a while. But now that I’m back in action, here are the highlights:

While sales were not quite as brisk as last year, I still sold many copies of Finders Keepers. And the biggest reason I didn’t sell more: many of the attendees bought a copy last year! So I better get cracking on the next book.

And the top two questions I got all weekend:

•When does the sequel come out?
•When will see a Finders Keepers movie?

The answers are: I start writing the sequel once Crossline is done and … I have no idea. Of course I would LOVE to see Finders Keepers get the movie treatment, but Hollywood is a tricky business. Although I do have a few ideas up my sleeve, so all I can say is … stay tuned!

And speaking of movies, check out some new fans I made:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I also spent the weekend next to a vendor from Ohio who spent the entire three days complaining about how much he hated New York and how the Democrats are ruining America. Not to mention how they’re all making waaaaaaay too big a deal of how we’re ruining the environment. Cuz, like, in the real world we don’t really drink  contaminated water and breath polluted air and eat tainted food. It’s all just liberal propaganda.

Riiiiiiiight.

Anyhoo … I’ll be back at ICON next year, where they are moving the convention from Stonybrook to Hofstra, so maybe by then the magic elves who secretly run the world will decide on the only real, important option that will unite us all: bring Finders Keepers to the big screen!

 

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