For a whole combination of reasons, last night, for about an hour, I found myself mired in a quickly spiraling decent into being big time negative. And as I heard myself I talk, the whole time I’m thinking: [i]Dude, who are you? What are you saying? You’re a pod person. Abort! Abort![/i]

And not long after this bizarre hour, I was back out of it, bewildered, but at least chuckling a bit. Because, as anybody who knows me knows, I’m not a negative guy. I’m just not. Generally speaking, I’m loFor a whole combination of reasons, last night, for about an hour, I found myself mired in a quickly spiraling decent into being big time negative. And as I heard myself I talk, the whole time I’m thinking: [i]Dude, who are you? What are you saying? You’re a pod person. Abort! Abort![/i]

And not long after this bizarre hour, I was back out of it, bewildered, but at least chuckling a bit. Because, as anybody who knows me knows, I’m not a negative guy. I’m just not. Generally speaking, I’m looking towards the future, excited to get there.

So one question is: why did I get wrapped up in this mini-spiral of negativity and self-pity? There’s a bunch of reasons, but one is that I haven’t been giving my brain a rest of late. My spirit either. Throughout my entire life, as far back as I can remember, I’ve had tendencies to want to do too much, like the normal limits of the human body and mind don’t necessary apply to me (I know, I know, but what can I say? I’m working on it…).

At present, I’m plugging away on pruning Finders Keepers, which generally I love to do. I’ve already read the entire manuscript three times all the way through, and I’m about 80 percent done on the fourth read.

To do so, however, I’ve not only been reading early in the morning, but also on the subway on the way to work, on my lunch hour and on the subway on the way home from work. Those are normally the times when I just have me time–that time where I can just let the steam out of my head and chill; doing nothing; recharging?but instead I’ve been working.

Too much. Too much.

I haven’t been giving myself the breaks I need every day to stay focused and energized overall. In my desire to plow through and be working at maximum efficiency all the time, I’ve burned myself out a bit. I haven’t been allowing my natural ebbs and flows to do their thing. I’ve been messing with the wiring.

Well, that’s over. Which isn’t to say that I won’t be putting in the extra time to get through the manuscript this one last time, it’s that I’ve been out of balance–and I need to get back in balance. So maybe I’ll read pages on my lunch hour, but not on the subway going to or from work. Or maybe I’ll just take a few days off from reading pages altogether. It?s not like my world will end if?heaven forbid?I take a few days off (gasp!).

And besides, starting Friday I’m off to Jamaica this weekend for a nice 4-day vacation (shweet! more coming on that tomorrow), so that’ll surely help get my system back on track.

I also haven’t been getting outside and away from my desk much of late, because of the lousy weather, and I haven’t been taking enough of those little breaks throughout the day to meditate a few minutes, or just stretch my legs. You can bet your sweet you-know-what I’m putting those back on track as of this writing.

So what contributed to my little bout of negativity? It was my being unrealistic, pushing myself beyond my reasonable limits. Sometimes I need these reminders that, while goals and ambition can be good, if they come at the expense of my overall balance and harmony, then I need to reconsider my approach and whether what I’m trying to achieve–and in the time frame I’ve set out for myself–is worth it.

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Before I get into my Top 10 Shows of 2007, I want to note that this list encompasses the end of the 2006 season and the beginning of 2007, which was shortened due to the writer?s strike, and therefore made the selections a little tougher this year. (And some shows moved up or down on my list without having aired any new episodes this season yet; hey, my list, my rules). Also–and I can’t believe I did this–I left off one of my top shows of the year with my initial list, so this is my most-up-toBefore I get into my Top 10 Shows of 2007, I want to note that this list encompasses the end of the 2006 season and the beginning of 2007, which was shortened due to the writer?s strike, and therefore made the selections a little tougher this year. (And some shows moved up or down on my list without having aired any new episodes this season yet; hey, my list, my rules). Also–and I can’t believe I did this–I left off one of my top shows of the year with my initial list, so this is my most-up-to-date ranking. With that, here?s my list from 10 counting down to numero uno:

[b]10. The Sopranos:[/b] Yeah, that cut to black last frame is a head-scratcher, and as much as I try to reconcile it, I?m still annoyed that David Chase didn?t give us a more concrete conclusion to this epic series. That said, the last season of The Sopranos was full of power and pain, with A.J.?s half-assed suicide attempt one of the series great episodes. Not quite Sopranos at its very best, but a powerful season in all.

[b]9. House: [/b] Slipped a bit for me in Season 4 so far, as the Survivor bit for new cronies wore on a bit long for me, but I still love watching that crabby SOB do that thing that he does so well.

[b]8. Entourage: [/b]The last season was a little uneven. Vince became more vain than ever, and Drama became a complete and utter moron, even for him. But it was still my can?t miss show of Sunday nights.

[b]7. Damages: [/b] Gritty, suspenseful and plenty of twists. Glenn Close, as always, was great. But Ted Danson as a greedy, conflicted?and murderous?CEO really stole the series. Damages was almost ? almost ? too twisty for its own good, but all in all, a can?t-take-my-eyes away season.

[b]6. Life. [/b]The murder of the week format works fairly well here, but the character of Charlie Crews–a homicide detective who was recently released from prison after serving 12 years for a murder he didn’t commit–is a blast. His philospher cop just baffles the department, and his partner, but they make it work. It’s strangely life-affirming for a show with weekly murders, and it’s just delicious fun as Charlie searches for the wonks–including some bad cops–who framed him in the first place.

[b]5. The Office: [/b]Season 3 was great; season 4 ? not as much. I still look forward to it immensely, but those hour-long episodes to start the season were actually too long. There?s a reason The Office is a half hour. That?s where it works best. Actually, those super-size episodes might even top it. So maybe The Office is best at 40 minutes. Still, if The Office is on, I?m watching.

[b]4. Mad Men: [/b]The (second) best show on TV that nobody seems to be watching. Set in 1960 about advertising executives on NYC’s Madison Ave.–thus, Mad Men–this is a dark, moody show with complex characters who show one self on the surface while another one lurks just beneath. It also portrays a corporate America from a time that seems unfathomable by today’s standards. It’s almost hard to believe the working world was really like that. And wow, they drink and smoke–a lot–at the office. HBO has admitted to making a momumental mistake when it passed on this show. It might be on AMC, but search for it. It’s so worth it.

[b]3. Battlestar Galactica: [/b]That two-hour mini-series rocked pretty good, but I hate waiting so frakin? long for the whole series to return. Totally intense. This ain?t the 1970s show by a long shot.

[b]2. The Wire: [/b]Season 5?it?s final season?starts this weekend, and I?m drooling over it. Season 4 of The Wire was one of the single best seasons of any show. Ever. Seriously, it was that good. It?s not exactly feel good, but it?s so good. I can?t rightfully expect season 5 to be as good as season 4, but I can hope.

[b]1. Lost: [/b]Best. Season finale. Ever. Wow.

——-

Honorable Mentions:

[b]Reaper:[/b] I admit, this show hasn?t quite lived up to its potential, but it?s still goofy fun, and I look forward to it each week. The Devil is a snarky dude doing the things that only the Devil can make somebody do. Sweet.

[b]Aliens in America: [/b]I’m not sure if many people are watching, but this is a great little half-hour comedy about a high school dork whose parents agree to sponsor an exchange student, not realizing that he’s from … Pakistan. It’s a buddy show, a fish-out-of-water show, but mostly it really nails the awkward sense of being a teenager, regardless of where you’re from. Definitely worth checking out.

——-

Biggest Disappointments:

[b]Heroes:[/b] Rarely has a show done so little with so much. I keep watching, and keep hoping they?ll get it right, but they?ve managed to completely ruin both finales. When they get the season going again, they need to consolidate the storytelling and bring back the fun.

[b]Grey?s Anatomy: [/b]Completely lost its way. Used to be fun, now it?s just tedious.

[b]The Bionic Woman: [/b]Man, they really dropped a stink bomb. Had potential to kick butt. Instead, it was just muddled and dull.

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Now that Liz and I have been together for seven years (married for five), enough time has gone by where I can better track the ebbs and flows of our relationship, and how to better balance how much time we need together–just us, as couple–and how much time we need to be doing our own thing. This doesn’t mean that I’ve got this down to a science, because I don’t. But generally speaking I?m more sensitive about the need for us to spend time together, and our individual and collective needs to spNow that Liz and I have been together for seven years (married for five), enough time has gone by where I can better track the ebbs and flows of our relationship, and how to better balance how much time we need together–just us, as couple–and how much time we need to be doing our own thing. This doesn’t mean that I’ve got this down to a science, because I don’t. But generally speaking I?m more sensitive about the need for us to spend time together, and our individual and collective needs to spend time apart.

In M. Scott Peck’s In Search of Stones, he talks about his own marriage (at which point was past the 30-year mark), and asks: [i]Are we striking the right balance between separateness and togetherness? Does the balance need to change as we age? The adventure of our marriage also gone on and on[/i].

So the question I ask myself, is: [i]what’s the right balance of separateness and togetherness for Liz and I? And perhaps more importantly: what is the right balance now for Liz and I, and how will that balance change over time?[/i]

Generally speaking, I would say that Liz and I spend a good about of time together. Most nights, after work, once we’ve both changed our clothes and had a little time to decompress, we hit the couch and watch TV together for about two hours. It’s our time together. It’s relaxed, it’s fun. On the weekends,

I’d say we usually spend several hours together once each day, although not necessarily consecutively. But all in all, we spend a good amount of time together, and, as I’ve blogged about before, we have our Family Meeting on Sunday nights, to plan ahead for the next few weeks.

When it comes to separateness, we also do our own thing, I think, a reasonable amount. I’m up early in the morning to write during the week or go to the gym, and then I spend a few hours each day on the weekends doing the same. Liz has become a knitter the last few years, so she does that once a week (on and off), and so has her friends time. And then we do our separate friends things and couples friends thing.

And yet, is the balance right? Overall, I think so. But it changes. Day to day. Week to week. Month to month. Year to year.

I am constantly reminded that the right balance today may not be the right balance tomorrow. And I?m reminded when I feel those tugs of either feeling like I miss Liz, or we?re getting on each other?s nerves. And sometimes that?s what it is. Too much time together. I?m reminded of an early episode of [i]Mad About You[/i], when Paul and Jamie are home all weekend together, and she kisses him and says, ?I love you, but if I have to look at your face one more minute I?m going to scratch your eyes out. Go do something.? Or something to that effect.

Sometimes being together is exactly what you need, as a couple. And sometimes is exactly what you don?t need. And sometimes, I want to be around Liz more than she wants to be around me, and sometimes it?s the other way around. So this requires maintenance, and that we both be flexible and understanding, because it?s easy to get the vibe wrong, and it?s easy to misinterpret what the other is thinking or feeling.

More often that not, it works out fine, but being in rhythm isn?t always easy, or even possible. We have our own rhythms and needs, and they are not always in sync. So taking the pulse of our relationship is important, and important to do regularly. The updates don?t have to be major sit-downs, but just checking helps gets past those awkward spots where we?re unable (or unwilling, for whatever reason), to just volunteer what we want, need or expect.

And sometimes the smallest gesture ? a touch on the cheek, grazing of fingers ? is all we need to say everything that needs saying.

Well, I suppose I could go on and on about the idea of separateness vs. togetherness, because it?s a forever thing, but for now I?ll just wrap by saying that, after I post this blog (time for me) and do a few other Finders Keepers updates, I?ll be hanging out with my girl.

Separate. Then together.

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When I went into Juno, I had moderate expectations, figuring I would probably like it, but not love it. Well, I’d say that Juno is better than that. It’s almost borderline great, in a small movie kind of way. The gist is that 16-year-old Juno gets knocked up, doesn’t want the kid, and will give it up for adoption when it’s born.

The secondary characters are all good, and Ellen Paige, as Juno, really gives a terrific performance, carrying the whole movie. My only gripe is that, despite a reWhen I went into Juno, I had moderate expectations, figuring I would probably like it, but not love it. Well, I’d say that Juno is better than that. It’s almost borderline great, in a small movie kind of way. The gist is that 16-year-old Juno gets knocked up, doesn’t want the kid, and will give it up for adoption when it’s born.

The secondary characters are all good, and Ellen Paige, as Juno, really gives a terrific performance, carrying the whole movie. My only gripe is that, despite a really interesting script with dialogue that feels real, rather than movie dialogue, the character of Juno just doesn’t act and talk like a 16-year-old. She’s too worldly and wise for her age. I struggled at times believing that she was actually 16. Had this movie been exactly the same, except that the character of Juno was 21 and not 16–in college and not high school–I think the tone would have been spot on.

Still, it’s a movie definitely worth seeing, and will likely hold up quite well on subsequent viewings.

Post edited by: rcolchamiro, at: 2008/01/07 12:59

Today is January 4, 2008, and should be marked as a red-letter day in American cultural history.

So there I was today, checking out cnn.com, just checking in on the world at large, and there, high up under Latest News, was the latest news indeed on Britney Spears. Now, this kind of celebrity gossip usually makes me want to spew chunks, but curiosity got the best of me. And what does this version say?

Well, seems that poor widew Britney blew yet another gasket, and around ?10:30 p.m, Today is January 4, 2008, and should be marked as a red-letter day in American cultural history.

So there I was today, checking out cnn.com, just checking in on the world at large, and there, high up under Latest News, was the latest news indeed on Britney Spears. Now, this kind of celebrity gossip usually makes me want to spew chunks, but curiosity got the best of me. And what does this version say?

Well, seems that poor widew Britney blew yet another gasket, and around ?10:30 p.m, six police cars, two ambulances and a fire truck had entered the gated community that includes Spears’ house. Several police cars were seen in the area earlier in the night.?

Seems that good ole? Brit and K-Fed got into another of their illustrious custody spats, and Britney lost her s**t. ?For her own welfare, she was transferred to a local hospital for medical treatment,? which apparently included psychological testing.

Well … duh.

Brilliant stuff.

Okay, well, not a great day for Britney, and certainly not a stellar day for CNN. They?re not exactly setting the standard for journalistic excellence. But there was more!

When I looked down just a few lines on the CNN homepage, there was another headline, this one about our favorite Lolita Amy Fisher. Ooh goody. The Fisher Queen and her husband are now marketing their homemade sex tape.

Well, golly. Who woulda thunk it?

Seems they did a little home sex tape thing, which her husband then sold to a porn distributor when they were on the brink of divorce. They?ve since reconciled, and rather than fighting for the tape?s retraction, she took a six-figure payout instead.

[i]Man[/i]. If we?re not just having a day of days to be proud of, then what more could you ask for? The legacy of American class and brilliance shines bright.

UPDATED:

I just had to throw this in here (it’s Sunday morning), but now Dr. Phil has visited Britney, and he’s saying that she’s an unequivicable mess (ya think?), and needs medical and pyschological help, pronto.

This story just keeps gettin’ better and better …

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Post edited by: rcolchamiro, at: 2008/01/06 10:11

It has been decided. 2008 is our year. And when I say [i]our,[/i] I not only mean Liz and I, but anyone who chooses to jump on board. Last year was a tough one?not all bad?but long and challenging.

So ?08 is our year. It has been decided.

By me.

While I am generally an upbeat, optimistic fellow, sometimes the best I can find in myself is to simply hang on. Last year produced several stretches of that sort. My desire to thrive was there, but my mojo wasn?t. There were just too manyIt has been decided. 2008 is our year. And when I say [i]our,[/i] I not only mean Liz and I, but anyone who chooses to jump on board. Last year was a tough one?not all bad?but long and challenging.

So ?08 is our year. It has been decided.

By me.

While I am generally an upbeat, optimistic fellow, sometimes the best I can find in myself is to simply hang on. Last year produced several stretches of that sort. My desire to thrive was there, but my mojo wasn?t. There were just too many obstacles large and small to contend with to build the kind of momentum I was hoping for.

But that was last year, and this is now. This is ?08.

I?m not going to go on for too long today, but I wanted to start off my 2008 blogging with a declaration of goodness. A declaration of positive energy. A declaration of focus and fun. A declaration of accomplishment and success. Of friends and family. Of vigor and possibility.

2008 is our year. It?s gonna be one heckuva ride …

Finally saw The Lookout last night. I can honestly say my heart was pounding from beginning to end. The kid from Third Rock from the Sun was great, and there were other really good performances as well. It’s about this kid–a high school hockey star in the midwest–who gets messed up in a car accident, and because of his head injury, is reduced to being a night janitor at a local bank. The local baddies get involved, and it’s just tense start to finish.

If you like gritty movies, I’d definiFinally saw The Lookout last night. I can honestly say my heart was pounding from beginning to end. The kid from Third Rock from the Sun was great, and there were other really good performances as well. It’s about this kid–a high school hockey star in the midwest–who gets messed up in a car accident, and because of his head injury, is reduced to being a night janitor at a local bank. The local baddies get involved, and it’s just tense start to finish.

If you like gritty movies, I’d definitely recommend The Lookout.

Just so we’re clear, nobody is outing themselves here. But for the last few days Liz and I have undertaken one of the tasks that just don’t come easy: cleaning out the closets.

It’s just gotten to be that time. We’ve been living in our place here in Forest Hills for about two years, and the closet situation just got to that point. We’ve got piles and bags of stuff, but no organization. We weren’t even really sure what we did have, and what we needed.

And like any good organizer, which Just so we’re clear, nobody is outing themselves here. But for the last few days Liz and I have undertaken one of the tasks that just don’t come easy: cleaning out the closets.

It’s just gotten to be that time. We’ve been living in our place here in Forest Hills for about two years, and the closet situation just got to that point. We’ve got piles and bags of stuff, but no organization. We weren’t even really sure what we did have, and what we needed.

And like any good organizer, which Liz most definitely is (me, not so much), we’ve taken virtually everything–yep, everything–out of three closets so that we can look at everything we have, sort by like items, and assess where everything should go. So what does that mean? You guessed it. The apartment looks like several bombs went off in random order. We’ve got piles on the floor, piles on the table, piles on the spare bed.

Some of those piles are neatly stacked, some of the piles are not even close to being neatly stacked. We’ve got piles of papers, we’ve got piles off office supplies. We’ve got old files that need to go in permanent storage and older files that need to get chucked. We’ve got DVD boxes (okay, [i]I[/i] have DVD boxes), we’ve got old paid bills and receipts. We’ve got computer ink cartridges and we’ve got business cards from three jobs ago. We’ve got 20 years of birthday cards. We’ve got old letters. We’ve got wires and old cell phones, cameras that don’t work, VCRs we don’t use and portable CD players we haven’t looked at in two years.

So, yeah. We’ve got ourselves a little project going on here.

Tomorrow we’re heading off to the Container Store in Manhattan to get the storage bins we need. And [i]then[/i] we get to put everything in their new homes.

I can’t say this is the most thrilling project I’ve ever undertaken, but it’s definitely needed. And if it wasn’t for Liz, our closets would pile up for the next ten years, because there was virtually no chance on God’s green earth that I was going to initiate it. And who knows what kind of a disaster it would have been at that point.

We probably won’t be able to finish this weekend, but we’re making one heckuva dent. And once this project is done and dusted, we’ll able to kick back and relax, happy about a job well done and an organized apartment.

And then time to start the next one …

It’s been a week or so since I updated you guys on the new tweaks I’ve been putting to Finders Keepers, so in the spirit of Christmas I figured now was a good time to catch you up (I have no idea how updating you is in the spirit of Christmas, but it kinda sounded like a holiday-type thing to say).

As I noted in an earlier blog, one of the missions of this latest round of tweaks was to trim the Finders Keepers manuscript just a bit, as it came in just a little long. Well, I’m here to reportIt’s been a week or so since I updated you guys on the new tweaks I’ve been putting to Finders Keepers, so in the spirit of Christmas I figured now was a good time to catch you up (I have no idea how updating you is in the spirit of Christmas, but it kinda sounded like a holiday-type thing to say).

As I noted in an earlier blog, one of the missions of this latest round of tweaks was to trim the Finders Keepers manuscript just a bit, as it came in just a little long. Well, I’m here to report that I’ve read the entire manuscript?twice?and made a whole lot of little cuts, and then implemented them. So here’s a little math for you.

Before I started this latest round of tweaks, Finders Keepers came in at 128,368 words, and 544 pages. Now that I’ve finished this round, Finders Keepers is 115,251 words and 445 pages. Let’s look at that in grid form:

Before Tweaks After Tweaks

Word Count 128,368 115,251

Page Count 544 445

Applying a little more math, here’s some additional analysis.

Total Words Cut: 13,117

Total Pages Cut: 99

This means that I was able to cut 11 percent of the word count, and almost 18 percent of the page count. I’m not sure how that sounds to you, but I gotta say, I’m pretty darn happy with it.

Thing is, it’s not that I just cut words from Finders Keepers. It’s that I condensed Finders Keepers so that I’ve pruned off extraneous words. And in doing so I didn’t get rid of a single chapter, nor did I cut any characters. Which means that Finders Keepers is leaner and tighter than ever, while keeping the core story intact?all the vital organs remain. The humor’s still there. The flow is there. The nuance. It’s just Finders Keepers in better shape than it’s ever been!

But the pruning isn’t done yet.

While I’m really, really happy with the way this round of pruning went, I suspect there’s opportunity for more still. What I’m discovering is that the more ruthless I choose to be when looking at my own work, the better I become as I writer. It’s long been said that the real writing is done during the editing process. Well, that’s been absolutely true in my case. Why make my point in 20 words if I can do it in 14? Or 11?

As a writer, the instinct is to write. To add words. But as a storyteller, the goal is to be as efficient as possible. It’s not only my goal, but my responsibility to the readers, to say what I want to say as quickly as possible without sacrificing any meaning.

On the publishing end of things, it’s always going to be in my best interest to present a manuscript that is as short, tight and lean as possible. That doesn’t mean making the manuscript short for the sake of being short, but if I want to thrive in the publishing world, I have to deal with the reality that printed pages cost money, and the fewer pages there are to print the less it costs to produce a physical book. And the more cost efficient my manuscript is, the better chance I have of getting it in print.

That said, I’m not going to cut my book to the point where it will hurt the story, but if there’s a scene or a description or dialogue exchange that I like, but just don’t need, where it doesn’t advance the plot or character development, well, that sucker will likely have to go. Admittedly, there are scenes like those that I’m not cutting. They make me laugh. Or they amuse me. Finders Keepers is supposed to be fun, so I’m not cutting the fun stuff. But other stuff does have to go.

The great thing is that, just because little bits like that won’t make the final draft doesn’t mean they longer exist. That’s what this Web site is for. So anything I like but cut from Finders Keepers will likely end up here at some point.

So starting later today I’ll start printing the newly pruned version of Finders Keepers and look to prune once again. I don’t know how much more I can effectively snip away at this point, but if I’ve learned anything through all this, it?s that if I look hard enough, I can almost always find something to trim down. And if that makes Finders Keepers just that much better, then I’m all for it.

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I admit that I?m a holiday kinda guy. I don?t get miserable during the winter holidays. I like ?em.

But the one thing that drives me bonkers is the holiday food. The cookies. The snacks. The gift baskets. Oh, don?t get me wrong, I?m not saying they?re bad. They?re good. But they?re good in that very bad way. Rich chocolates. Fancy cheeses.

For the last week my office has been inundated with gift baskets, and it sure doesn?t take long for somebody to crack them open. No matter how many I admit that I?m a holiday kinda guy. I don?t get miserable during the winter holidays. I like ?em.

But the one thing that drives me bonkers is the holiday food. The cookies. The snacks. The gift baskets. Oh, don?t get me wrong, I?m not saying they?re bad. They?re good. But they?re good in that very bad way. Rich chocolates. Fancy cheeses.

For the last week my office has been inundated with gift baskets, and it sure doesn?t take long for somebody to crack them open. No matter how many treats are in there, they’re wiped out in minutes like a swarm of locusts flew in.

Now, I try to be good. I try not to give in. But finger foods are a weakness of mine. They call out to me. They lure me in. Ru-usss. You know you want meeee. I?m so small and tasty. Soooo ta-steeee. I really stumble with the chocolate covered pretzels. Or the cheese spread and fancy crackers.

Damn you, holiday temptation!

So while I?m trying like heck to be healthy, to keep the pounds off, these holiday gifs aren?t making life any easier.

Post edited by: rcolchamiro, at: 2007/12/26 07:00