Clipping fingernails and toenails is just one of those little necessary grooming rituals that we all undertake. Maybe not as often as shaving, or say, bathing, but we still need to do it now and again.

The other day I was at work, and as I walked into the men’s room I saw a guy at the sink doing a little clipping, washing his fingernail shrapnel down the drain. Clean. I suppose ideally he would have done his grooming at home, but sometimes it just turns out that we need to do a little touchClipping fingernails and toenails is just one of those little necessary grooming rituals that we all undertake. Maybe not as often as shaving, or say, bathing, but we still need to do it now and again.

The other day I was at work, and as I walked into the men’s room I saw a guy at the sink doing a little clipping, washing his fingernail shrapnel down the drain. Clean. I suppose ideally he would have done his grooming at home, but sometimes it just turns out that we need to do a little touch up. It happens. And I was thankful that this guy chose to do it over the sink, in the men’s room, where this kind of grooming is most appropriate.

What I can’t stand, what really skeeves me out, is when people clip their nails in public, like on the subway!

Yuck!

First of all, there’s the shrapnel issue. Clipping your little fingernail discharge onto the seats or the subway floor. Even if you’re careful, you’re gonna nail somebody (unintended pun). It’s gross. Just … yuck.

Second, it’s the noise. That little [i]plink … plink … plink.[/i] There’s just something about those little high pitched clicks that gets me. It’s another one of those fingernails on a chalkboard thing (again, another untended nail reference). It gives me the willies.

Why, oh why must people do this in public? I don’t get it. And I’m not saying that every once in a while you won’t face an emergency. Last night, for example, I accidentally scraped my hand against the wall in the subway, and had a sharp, painful right pinkie fingernail. It needed a little attention. I didn’t clip it or anything, but if I had a nail clipper with me (which I never do, for the reasons above), maybe I would have given it a quick clip just to file down the rough edge. But it would have been quick and over with, that’s even if I would have done it at all.

So I guess my point of all this is … groom yourself at home! Clipping your fingernails in public is nasty! Just like you don’t want to watch me groom myself, I don’t want to see anybody else doing it either.

I realize this isn’t the end of the world, but it’s just one of those little [i]ick [/i]things that would just make our days that much nicer if they were done in private.

Post edited by: rcolchamiro, at: 2008/01/04 05:44

It seems that my missing stress ball at work has returned–and, I have to admit–I got got. I hate getting got. I prefer doing the getting. But never let it be said that I can’t take a joke. (for Part I of this story, see my blog from Nov. 27).

If you recall from the previous blog, one of the writers I supervise, in a little bit of revenge pranking, snatched my squeezy stress ball from my desk–which I use to full advantage on a regular basis–and hid it somewhere nearby. Of course, I figuIt seems that my missing stress ball at work has returned–and, I have to admit–I got got. I hate getting got. I prefer doing the getting. But never let it be said that I can’t take a joke. (for Part I of this story, see my blog from Nov. 27).

If you recall from the previous blog, one of the writers I supervise, in a little bit of revenge pranking, snatched my squeezy stress ball from my desk–which I use to full advantage on a regular basis–and hid it somewhere nearby. Of course, I figured that I would find it with relative ease. I checked nearby, not putting too much effort into it, 1), because I had a backup (tennis ball, which works, but not as well), and 2), because (and let’s face it), I didn’t want to admit that he annoyed me!

So I checked nearby, and that little sucker just didn’t turn.

Said writer was back in the office the other day, and, with a satisfied grin, revealed the hiding spot–which was right under my nose. On a mostly vacated desk next to mine was the usual gathering of items–including a white coffee mug on the top shelf.

Yep. You guessed it. The stress ball was in the coffee mug. I’d been by the desk a few times, had even checked within inches of where that darn thing was. So close. So close.

Well, as I said, I got got.

#%$!!!

I gotta give the kid some credit … and think of my next prank.

Stay tuned.

Post edited by: rcolchamiro, at: 2007/12/13 05:46

Last week I re-read a trade paperback of Howard the Duck. The first story is a hilarious, biting satire on corporations–and boy bands!–and was also pretty raunchy and outrageous. The rest of the collection fell a bit short of this one story, and while I can’t say the entire collection paid off, it’s definitely different. Not sure that I would recommend buying it, but if you happen to come across a copy, it might be worth an hour just for something you would never normally read.Last week I re-read a trade paperback of Howard the Duck. The first story is a hilarious, biting satire on corporations–and boy bands!–and was also pretty raunchy and outrageous. The rest of the collection fell a bit short of this one story, and while I can’t say the entire collection paid off, it’s definitely different. Not sure that I would recommend buying it, but if you happen to come across a copy, it might be worth an hour just for something you would never normally read.

Finally saw Old Country for Old Men, and it’s pretty close to being a great, great movie. And it would have been had it not been for the last 20 minutes.

Up until then, it’s a tense, mesmerizing crime movie that had my heart pounding throughout. I was totally into this movie. So for an hour and a half, I was loving it. And then … the story shifts gears in such a bizarre fashion that it was like they decided to end the movie before it was finished, and wrap up with some other story that haFinally saw Old Country for Old Men, and it’s pretty close to being a great, great movie. And it would have been had it not been for the last 20 minutes.

Up until then, it’s a tense, mesmerizing crime movie that had my heart pounding throughout. I was totally into this movie. So for an hour and a half, I was loving it. And then … the story shifts gears in such a bizarre fashion that it was like they decided to end the movie before it was finished, and wrap up with some other story that has almost nothing to do with the movie you’ve been watching all along.

It’s a head scratcher.

So without giving anything away for those of you who haven’t seen it, be prepared for 90 minutes of greatness, and then 20 minutes of [i]wait … what?[/i]

I was talking to someone yesterday who said that the book is exactly the same way, and while I can appreciate a faith adaption, if the story doesn’t play out, it’s time to make a few adjustments. If only.

Post edited by: rcolchamiro, at: 2007/12/11 06:37

Last night I was at my company’s holiday party, and I think it’s fair to say that I had my share of cocktails. Yep. I was pretty much loaded.

On the subway ride home I had the warm tingle that only alcohol can bring, and so I was feeling flippy and fun. And so I thought, [i]I know, let me edit pages from my book![/i]

I know, I know, probably not the best time to be doing careful line editing, but, hey, there’s really no logic quite like drunk logic. It has a sensibility all it’s own. SLast night I was at my company’s holiday party, and I think it’s fair to say that I had my share of cocktails. Yep. I was pretty much loaded.

On the subway ride home I had the warm tingle that only alcohol can bring, and so I was feeling flippy and fun. And so I thought, [i]I know, let me edit pages from my book![/i]

I know, I know, probably not the best time to be doing careful line editing, but, hey, there’s really no logic quite like drunk logic. It has a sensibility all it’s own. So there I was on the F train headed into Queens, riding along with a combination of tequila and beer coursing through me, reading pages from a section of my book that takes place in Amsterdam. How appropriate.

Thing is, having looked at the pages this morning, the line editing is pretty good. The cuts I made were reasonable and on point. The physical lines I drew with the pen, however, are something less than on point. They’re kinda … squiggly. Not too straight.

So, if there’s a lesson to be learned, it’s not that you can’t make good editing decisions while blasted, it’s that making good editing [i]marks[/i] is slightly more complicated and might be better held until the next day.

Well, today’s the next day … and I’ve got some lines to straighten out.

Post edited by: rcolchamiro, at: 2007/12/13 20:30

It?s that time of year again. The holiday parties are kicking up into gear.

Last night Liz and I went to her company?s holiday party at this swanked out restaurant in Midtown Manhattan. It was a small party?maybe 20 people?with drinks and then a five-course meal. It was pretty darn nice.

My company holiday party is Monday, and another holiday I was planning to go to last night got postponed until January.

But the holiday party is a funny thing. Sometimes they?re actually really,It?s that time of year again. The holiday parties are kicking up into gear.

Last night Liz and I went to her company?s holiday party at this swanked out restaurant in Midtown Manhattan. It was a small party?maybe 20 people?with drinks and then a five-course meal. It was pretty darn nice.

My company holiday party is Monday, and another holiday I was planning to go to last night got postponed until January.

But the holiday party is a funny thing. Sometimes they?re actually really, really fun. Sometimes the vibe is just right, with the holiday decorations and the holiday spirit?and lots of alcohol. But when you get those good holiday parties, it sorta restores my faith in people, in us [i]as[/i] a people. It reminds me of the generosity of spirit we can have.

On the other hand, there?s nothing quite as crappy as a crappy holiday party. When nobody really wants to be there, when the mood is dour, the food is bad, when the drinks are watered down. I?d much rather be huddled up on the couch watching a good movie then suffering a lousy holiday party. Hopefully, I won?t have to, but you never know. These things can be pretty random.

But last night was fun, which puts me 1 for 1 this year. Let?s hope the streak continues.

Anyway, not a long blog today, but I had holiday parties on my mind, and I figured I?d put some festive holiday party thoughts into the ether, hoping they make their way over to wherever you are.

OK. So I lied. A big honkin? lie.

Well, it wasn?t so much that I lied, but that it turns out I was dead wrong. Very, very wrong. And I?m very happy about that.

In my last blog I wrote about how I?m re-reading Finders Keepers, trying to trim it down to size so that it will be more publisher friendly. In particular, I wrote about how painful it is to now go back and re-cut what I already thought was a tight, clean manuscript, and how I hate getting rid of words. I?m a writer. Writer?s wrOK. So I lied. A big honkin? lie.

Well, it wasn?t so much that I lied, but that it turns out I was dead wrong. Very, very wrong. And I?m very happy about that.

In my last blog I wrote about how I?m re-reading Finders Keepers, trying to trim it down to size so that it will be more publisher friendly. In particular, I wrote about how painful it is to now go back and re-cut what I already thought was a tight, clean manuscript, and how I hate getting rid of words. I?m a writer. Writer?s write. We hate to cut. We [i]hate[/i] to cut.

Well, I started making my cuts the other day, and it turns out … I love it.

Seriously. Love it, love it, love it.

By taking another look at Finders Keepers, by taking a very close look, I?m forcing myself to get rid of every last word I don?t need. And it hasn?t been nearly as tough as I thought. I?m not even cutting away big pieces either. It?s just a few words here, a few words there. Since Finders Keepers has 100 chapters, I?m reading them (out of order), looking to cut about 100 words a chapter. At that rate, I?ll cut about 10,000 words, and nothing major will need to go, and I?ll get Finders Keepers down to about 117,000 words total (from 127,000 words, where it is now). Getting to 117,000 would be a really nice accomplishment. I?d love to get down to 110,000, but that might be tough.

Now, these targets are a little arbitrary. Industry standard is that 120,000 is pretty much an acceptable maximum for first novels, so that’s my benchmark. But every word that I can come under 120,000 will help–just so long as it doesn’t hurt the story. And don’t worry, Finders Keepers will be sharp and zany as every. Just a little bit tighter. And that’s only a good thing.

At this point, I don?t think I?m averaging 100 words a chapter, though. Maybe a bit less. Maybe around 75. But still, that?s 7,500 words total. And that?s not bad. Plus, I only just started a few days ago. Who knows what I?ll discover? Maybe I?ll find that a particular chapter isn?t even necessary, or that I just overdid it in one section or another. Either way, I?m snipping away, and finding it really satisfying. It?s like a sculpture that needs very light, very subtle chiseling to smooth out the rough edges. But since it?s a large sculpture, there are many small rough edges.

My guess is that it will take me about another two weeks to finish the chiseling, and then another week to implement the changes and do a new word count. Then I?ll see where I?m at.

I admit it. I was wrong. I thought I would hate having cut this much, but as it turns out, it?s a great thing indeed.

As great as Johan Santana is, as much as I’d love for him to be the anchor of the Yankees pitching staff, I’m starting to feel that Phil Hughes, Melky Cabrera and another prospects is just too much to give up, not including the enormous salary he’ll command.

It’s a tough call. One the one hand, Santana is just the best. He’s an incredible pitcher who makes any team instantly much, much better. Way better. He’s fierce.

But at what point is even he not worth it?

We’ll see …As great as Johan Santana is, as much as I’d love for him to be the anchor of the Yankees pitching staff, I’m starting to feel that Phil Hughes, Melky Cabrera and another prospects is just too much to give up, not including the enormous salary he’ll command.

It’s a tough call. One the one hand, Santana is just the best. He’s an incredible pitcher who makes any team instantly much, much better. Way better. He’s fierce.

But at what point is even he not worth it?

We’ll see …

I new this day was coming. It was inevitable. And that day is here.

When I finished writing [i]Finders Keepers[/i], when I wrote, edited, re-edited, cut, trimmed and snipped, I said to myself, [i]Okay. This baby is tight and lean. I?ve trimmed all the fat. All meat[/i].

And yet it still came in at about 127,000 words. That?s not outrageous, but it?s on the longer side for a novel, and especially for a first novel. Not because it?s wrong, but because publishers are, on average, less lI new this day was coming. It was inevitable. And that day is here.

When I finished writing [i]Finders Keepers[/i], when I wrote, edited, re-edited, cut, trimmed and snipped, I said to myself, [i]Okay. This baby is tight and lean. I?ve trimmed all the fat. All meat[/i].

And yet it still came in at about 127,000 words. That?s not outrageous, but it?s on the longer side for a novel, and especially for a first novel. Not because it?s wrong, but because publishers are, on average, less likely to give more pages to a first-time novelist.

That said, a story needs to be as long as it needs to be, and so I weighed that against keeping it as short as possible. And when I was done, I felt the manuscript was at its proper length. And yet I always just assumed that either an agent, an editor or a publisher would say, [i]okay, we need to tweak this a bit, take a little off the edges.[/i]

Well, this where I?m at.

As I get closer to the publishing stage, I have to face the reality that 127,000 words really is on the longer side?not the wrong side, but longer side?and now it?s time to do something about that. So over the next few weeks I?m going to be taking a very close look at the manuscript, and will trim and tweak and prune every last word that just doesn?t need to be there.

Writers write. It?s what we do. Adding words is fun. Cutting words is not. But ultimately, cutting is needed. Having a lean, tight manuscript ultimately is what?s best for the story, and I will be as ruthless as I can muster. And while deep in my mind I know I need to do this, it won?t be easy.

And I?ll hate every minute of it.

Post edited by: rcolchamiro, at: 2007/12/13 20:32

Post edited by: rcolchamiro, at: 2008/01/04 05:44

For the Steve Carrell fans out there, Dan in Real Life is another winner. It’s not off the wall like 40-Year Old Virgin, or subtly twisted like The Office. Dan in Real Life, on paper, is just a boy meets girl kinda movie for adults. It’s about a guy who writes an advice column, who is also a father of three girls whose wife died about 4 years earlier, and hasn’t really moved on. But he goes to his family’s house for a weekend respite up in Rhode Island, and randomly meets a woman, and then suddeFor the Steve Carrell fans out there, Dan in Real Life is another winner. It’s not off the wall like 40-Year Old Virgin, or subtly twisted like The Office. Dan in Real Life, on paper, is just a boy meets girl kinda movie for adults. It’s about a guy who writes an advice column, who is also a father of three girls whose wife died about 4 years earlier, and hasn’t really moved on. But he goes to his family’s house for a weekend respite up in Rhode Island, and randomly meets a woman, and then suddenly he finds himself looking at things a bit differently, especially as nothing goes quite right for him.

Dan in Real Life is funny throughout, has heart, and while it could very easily be a standard studio movie, it’s shot like an idie movie with an indie vibe, and it pays off. You may see the ending coming, but it doesn’t really matter, as it’s an hour and forty-five minutes well spent. I’m not saying you need to spend the $10.50 to see it, but it’s a rental for sure.