About a week ago I had one of those moments. I know I’ve only really been on the hunt for agent for about 8 weeks, but when you really, really want something, 8 weeks can seem like forever. But one day, after receiving … nothing … I started to get really frustrated.

I mean [i]really[/i] frustrated.

One of the built in difficulties with being a writer is that the conventional way of getting published, especially as a novelist, is landing an agent, and then having your agent landingAbout a week ago I had one of those moments. I know I’ve only really been on the hunt for agent for about 8 weeks, but when you really, really want something, 8 weeks can seem like forever. But one day, after receiving … nothing … I started to get really frustrated.

I mean [i]really[/i] frustrated.

One of the built in difficulties with being a writer is that the conventional way of getting published, especially as a novelist, is landing an agent, and then having your agent landing you a publishing contract. But under this scenario, as the writer, you are at the mercy of other people, of strangers, who will decide your fate.

It’s easy to deal with if I don’t let myself get too worked up about it, but sometimes it just kills me that the potential of my success might very well rest with someone else.

[i]The potential of my success might very well rest with someone else.[/i]

Eesh. Tough one.

But who’s to say that these agents are even any good at what they do, or that they’re right? And if they are, who’s to say that they’ll get it right with me? Or if it’ll happen sooner rather than later? Or at all?

And the thing is, I’m not so thin-skinned that I can’t handle the rejection letters. I mean, I can’t say I love getting them–they don’t send me into any emotional tailspins–but they’re not the end of the world either. It’s not that someone has decided, for whatever reason, that they don’t want to represent me, but that it’s another day without me moving ahead at the pace that I want. It’s the being held back, the obstacles, even if it’s just for now.

But this is just how it is. Or is it?

This situation certainly isn’t unique to me. It’s just one of the inherent elements of this business, and as I was recently reminded, you find a way to deal with it, or you have to think about trying something else.

Which leads me to self publishing. Now, I’m not saying that I [i]should [/i]self publish FINDERS KEEPERS. I have no way of knowing whether that’s the best path to take or not. There are never any guarantees. But the possibility seems more reasonable to me now than it ever has. I don’t necessarily think it would be easier if I self published FINDERS KEEPERS and made a go of it that way, bu then again, I don’t know that it would be any harder. There are challenges no matter what I do.

At this point I’m just kicking around the idea of self publishing, as I don’t know enough about it yet. I’ve done some research, and have a lot more to do. I’m not going to just jump into a venture like that blindly. But my frustrations to this point have at least opened my eyes to possibility, and I’m grateful for that.

I don’t know yet what I’m going to do about this, but self publishing is now officially on my radar. I’ll just see what the next few months bring, and then go from there.

After a little time off from sending out query letters to agents, I’m getting ready for my next wave. I made a commitment to myself that I would send out at least 50 letters by April 1. I’ve got about 15 to go. But really, I’ll send out as many as it takes. Hopefully I won’t need to send out even one more, but then, maybe I’ll need 100 more. Who knows?

The first big wave of responses came in almost a month ago, but I’m still getting a few stragglers. And I’ve started to really notice some iAfter a little time off from sending out query letters to agents, I’m getting ready for my next wave. I made a commitment to myself that I would send out at least 50 letters by April 1. I’ve got about 15 to go. But really, I’ll send out as many as it takes. Hopefully I won’t need to send out even one more, but then, maybe I’ll need 100 more. Who knows?

The first big wave of responses came in almost a month ago, but I’m still getting a few stragglers. And I’ve started to really notice some interesting nuances in these rejection letters. Most of them are pretty generic, so it’s tough to get worked up about them. For example, I’ve gotten a bunch that start something like, "Dear Author," or "Dear Writer."

Yeah. I feel the love just oozing off the pages. And by the first few sentences, it’ll say, essentially, thanks but no thanks.

Okay fine.

Then there’s the letters that start with "Dear (typed) Russ (handwritten)," and the rest is a form letter. Maybe that’s a tiny bit more personalized, but still, we’re not exactly BFFs.

The next step up is when I get letter that reads, Dear Mr. Colchamiro … in which case I think, okay, at least the agent took the time to look at my name. Well, that’s something. Yet those rejection letters sting just a little bit more. It’s easier to get rejected as [i]Dear Nameless Author [/i]as opposed to [i]Hey Mr. Colchamiro, we don’t like your idea or your writing[/i].

Sometimes, although not often, but sometimes I’ll even get a letter that starts off with, "Dear Mr. Colchamiro," with the words [i]RE: Finders Keepers [/i]on the top of page. Now they know my name and the title of my book. They’re paying attention more. They actually know what this is about. Which kinda sucks more when they say no.

I got one the other day like that, and the first sentence read: Thank you for your summary and pages. It is "a tale of cosmic lunacy" as promised. So I’m liking this so far. At least the agent took the time to read my letter and took some direct language I used from my letter to him in his response back to me.

And then he went on to say that … I’m afraid that your pages just didn’t inspire the proper amount of enthusiasm …

Now this sucked the most of all the letters, because he really did know what my book was about, read the pages, read the summary and still didn’t like it. Now, I know it’s not a big deal that one person didn’t like it enough to want to represent me, but still. I’ve actually gotten a few rejection letter like this one.

[i]… your pages just didn’t inspire the proper amount of enthusiasm … [/i]

Bummer.

But then …. but then …

I got a letter the other day … a rejection letter … but one that kinda made me smile, that inspired me even. Yep. It inspired me. It was the shortest of all the rejection letters, just two sentence long. Here’s what it said:

Dear Mr. Colchamiro,

Thank you for your query for FINDERS KEEPERS, but it’s not right for me, as ambitious and strange as it sounds. But I appreciate the chance to consider it and wish you the best of luck.

[i]As ambitious and strange as it sounds[/i].

Finally! It’s about friggin’ time!

Someone gets that FINDERS KEEPERS is not your typical book! It’s [i]meant[/i] to be ambitious and strange and fun and bizarre, and someone in this nutty business finally stood up and took notice!

Sure, it was still a rejection letter, but it’s the best one I ever got. I’m hanging this baby on the wall because it gives me hope. I’m inspired. And sometimes just a little inspiration, even from the most unlikeliest of sources, is all I need to recharge.

[i]Ambitious and strange.[/i]

I like that. I like that a lot.

Post edited by: rcolchamiro, at: 2007/02/17 10:19

Post edited by: rcolchamiro, at: 2007/02/17 10:21

Post edited by: rcolchamiro, at: 2007/02/18 20:05

I know this might come as a shock to anyone who grew up watching TV in the ’80s, but I’ve never seen an episode of Miami Vice. Nope. Never. Not one. I’m not really sure why, but I just didn’t. For whatever reason, it just didn’t interest me. And over the years I’ve never seen a rerun either. I mean, sure, I’ve seen a few minutes here or there, or gotten a few seconds on clips shows, but I’ve never sat down and see an episode from beginning to end. I’ve probably never seen more than 2 or 3 consecI know this might come as a shock to anyone who grew up watching TV in the ’80s, but I’ve never seen an episode of Miami Vice. Nope. Never. Not one. I’m not really sure why, but I just didn’t. For whatever reason, it just didn’t interest me. And over the years I’ve never seen a rerun either. I mean, sure, I’ve seen a few minutes here or there, or gotten a few seconds on clips shows, but I’ve never sat down and see an episode from beginning to end. I’ve probably never seen more than 2 or 3 consecutive minutes!

And yet …

The other day I sat on my couch and watched the new, movie version of Miami Vice. And it wasn’t half bad. It’s a pretty typical Michael Mann movie … gritty, grainy and yet slick at the same time. The action was fairly good, it looked good. Plot was … okay. But all in all it was a decent two hours.

So why the movie and the not the show? Got me. I was home with time on my hands, it just happened to be the kind of movie I was looking to watch at the time.

I’ve still never seen the original show, and I have a pretty good feeling that I won’t, but I’ll give the movie a solid thumbs up. The loud colors are gone and it wasn’t the least bit cheeky or campy. It stood alone as its own creation. You won’t be missing much if you never watch it, but then, you might get a kick out of nonetheless, if you’re in the mood for that kind of thing.

It’s not the old school Crocket and Tubbs, but it’s all right.

Post edited by: rcolchamiro, at: 2007/02/17 09:49

Wow! Is it just me, or does LOST just totally rock now that it’s back from it’s way-too-long break? This week’s ep with Desmond’s concussion/flashback was awesome. And I love that last bit.

"Charlie. You’re going to die."

D’oh!

CAN’T WAIT TO SEE MORE!!!Wow! Is it just me, or does LOST just totally rock now that it’s back from it’s way-too-long break? This week’s ep with Desmond’s concussion/flashback was awesome. And I love that last bit.

"Charlie. You’re going to die."

D’oh!

CAN’T WAIT TO SEE MORE!!!

Blog. Yup. Definitely blog.

Aha. But what kind?

Blogmania kicked in a few years ago, and I admit I’ve been fairly new to the game, but once I started blogging, well … now I’m a blogger too.

But to say that you blog can mean so many things. What do you actually blog about? It is simultaneously a simple and difficult question to answer. The reason is that a blog means different things to different bloggers. Some just treat it like an online journal–"You’ll never guess what SBlog. Yup. Definitely blog.

Aha. But what kind?

Blogmania kicked in a few years ago, and I admit I’ve been fairly new to the game, but once I started blogging, well … now I’m a blogger too.

But to say that you blog can mean so many things. What do you actually blog about? It is simultaneously a simple and difficult question to answer. The reason is that a blog means different things to different bloggers. Some just treat it like an online journal–"You’ll never guess what Sarah said to me yesterday! Uch. Loser!"

Some bloggers treat their blogging with a bit more whimsy–I ran into a guy on the street yesterday, who said, "MAN I hate chicken," and then walked away.

And then there’s bloggers who blog with a bit more reflection, discussing some of the big and small events in their lives and how they feel about them, and what that might mean going forward.

But then there’s bloggers who really go at it, about business and finance and politics and world affairs calling for revolution and impeachments. And on and on.

And there’s sports blogs and movie blogs and motorcycling blogs and blogs about blogging!!

AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So I’ve been thinking lately about what kind of blog I should be blogging, and the answer I’ve come up with is this: I’m still not completely sure. It’s a work in progress. My intent from the very beginning was to blog about my adventures as a writer. What I’m writing about, building this web site, trying to land an agent, trying to get published. About being a writer.

And I’ve been doing that.

But I’ve also been blogging about some personal stuff, like when my wife went into the hospital for heart surgery, and also some more goofy stuff, like how much fun it was to see Rocky Balboa!

Which brings me back to the original question: what kind of blogger do I want to be?

The answer is: all of the above. My blogging style will simply define itself by the blogs I write. There have been occasions when I’ve blogged, looked at it, and then deleted it, because I felt the tone wasn’t right or I was off the mark in such a way that it was a bit of a mess. That’s how a lot of my writing goes. I think I should write about something in particular, but then I get lost along the way.

I’ve also blogged and then looked at it, and realized that it was missing some nuance, that the point I intended to make, or the way I intended to make it fell flat, and I’ve gone back and revised it. Not because I was trying to hide anything, but because I felt that it would take more effort and explanation to clarify in a new blog what I meant in a previous blog than it would to just go back and revise or expand it.

There have also been little things that happened to me–funny little stories–but I chose not to blog about them because I didn’t feel that they were worth the effort of blogging, even though they were somewhat amusing.

And then there are thoughts or events or ideas that I think–hey, now THIS would make a great blog–but I want to keep it just for me. Maybe it’s too personal, or maybe it involves someone else, and it’s not my place to tell their story or reveal their thoughts and feelings. Or maybe I’ve got something in my head that so juicy I want to use it in a short story or a novel or … [i]somewhere,[/i] [i]eventually,[/i] … but I haven’t figured out where.

While I continue to refine my blogging style and evolve as a blogger … I keep refining my style and evolving as a blogger. It’s always in flux. I don’t have to commit to any one style or box myself in with certain rules. But then, I do feel it’s important to be responsible too, to not just use this online venue to rant and rave about just anything in any way.

But mostly, blogging is a great outlet, a way to connect with you guys … and it’s a lot of fun. So I’m going to keep on blogging, and let someone else worry about what kind of blog this [i]ought[/i] to be. I’ll just let it be whatever it is.

Post edited by: rcolchamiro, at: 2007/02/17 09:41

Liz and I were watching reruns of ER tonight, and there’s a scene between Dr. Green and Dr. Carter, where they’re talking about passion, and how that fits into their jobs. And Green tells Carter that you do your job day after day, doing the best you can, and maybe you look back after a decade, and then you’re judged on the sum total of your work, not on the passion you have on any one day.

Which is kinda how I’ve been feeling lately. I didn’t getting into journalism as any part of a grand dLiz and I were watching reruns of ER tonight, and there’s a scene between Dr. Green and Dr. Carter, where they’re talking about passion, and how that fits into their jobs. And Green tells Carter that you do your job day after day, doing the best you can, and maybe you look back after a decade, and then you’re judged on the sum total of your work, not on the passion you have on any one day.

Which is kinda how I’ve been feeling lately. I didn’t getting into journalism as any part of a grand design. I just sorta stumbled into it. And over the years I’ve been frustrated by the market, switching jobs more than I wanted to–some by choice; some because I had no choice–and I’m tired. I’m tired of plotting out my next move, or how long the job I have is even going to be a job, lest the company fold or get sold or consolidated.

So I’ve been thinking back over the last decade, and when you add it all up, I can see that I’ve done okay. A recruiter called me recently and said, "wow, you’re resume looks great. you’ve got a ton of great experience." Thing is, I’ve been fortunate enough to have been on some fairly successful magazines over the years. I like to think they’ve been successful because I’ve been a part of them. In fact, I know that some have faltered, or folded, after I left … so aren’t I just the cat’s meow?

As a writer, I’ve probably got almost a million words in print somewhere under my byline. Probably five times that as an editor. But at this point, I’m so much more interested helping the young (and sometimes older) writers get better at what the do, guiding them so that they can be more effective. It’s so much more rewarding for me to give someone pointers, techniques and advice that they can build on for a lifetime, compared to just moving around a few words.

It’s almost hard for me to believe that I’ve been working in publishing for a decade. So many people, so many stories. Some good times, some hard times, some blah times.

It’s still frustrates me that I have to spend so much of my time negotiating nonsense rather than being productive, but I can honestly say that I’ve worked hard to get better and better and what I do–in many different ways–and that I’m able to give more to the people I work with than I ever have. It’s hardly ever as much as I’d like, but I do what I can.

I have no idea what the next 10 years will look like. Hopefully they’ll include a few best selling novels and loads and loads of folks who are grateful that they met me, but whatever I’ll be saying about my efforts as I look back, I know that the sum total will be all right indeed.

Post edited by: rcolchamiro, at: 2007/02/10 22:18

Post edited by: rcolchamiro, at: 2007/02/14 13:48

Some time ago I was supervising a young writer, who we’ll call Brian. He was nice enough, showed up on time, had brains, and was responsible. But his work was coming in consistently late, and he wasn’t asking for help.

Now, I knew the lateness wasn’t due to a lack of effort. It was obvious that the effort was there; it’s that the results were lacking.

Finally I sat him down at one of our regular one-on-one catch-up meetings, and spoke to him about it. I assured him that I knew he was Some time ago I was supervising a young writer, who we’ll call Brian. He was nice enough, showed up on time, had brains, and was responsible. But his work was coming in consistently late, and he wasn’t asking for help.

Now, I knew the lateness wasn’t due to a lack of effort. It was obvious that the effort was there; it’s that the results were lacking.

Finally I sat him down at one of our regular one-on-one catch-up meetings, and spoke to him about it. I assured him that I knew he was trying, but that we were at the point where something had to change. So I asked him the way he spent his time. Not to embarrass or punish him, but I needed to find out exactly what he was–or wasn’t–doing, so that I could hopefully identify the problem and then make suggestion as to how to improve.

I found several.

Thing is, they were all related to technique, most specifically in regard to time management. He had the desire; he just hadn’t developed the skills to help him. After that I gave him some very specific instructions when tackling the following issues:

* When he was calling people to schedule an interview, I asked him to tell me–specifically, exactly–what he said to them. My wife got annoyed when I told her I did this, because she said that she wouldn’t like it if anybody did that to her, even if they were right. But by doing this I discovered that Brian was asking people to call him back by his deadline–the day his story was due–and so they often did as he said, waiting until the last minute, which really put him in a bind. I then instructed Brian to change his technique–I usually make gentle suggestions rather than give directives when it comes to these types of issues, but in Brian’s case, I felt that he needed to develop some new habits, and I wanted him to grab hold of them so they stuck; I explained this to him.

From then on, he was to ask people to call him back the day he called them, or at the latest, the next morning. Then they can arrange a time for an interview at a mutually agreed upon time–and early enough so that Brian can meet his deadlines.

* When it came to setting interview times, I instructed Brian to lay out three dates and times of his choosing, and then instruct his interviews to pick one. Not to ask [i]if [/i]those times work, but [i]which[/i] [i]one[/i] works best. This tends to keep them focused, and more often than not, I find that it works pretty darn well.

* In terms of starting his assignments, I instructed Brian to begin the process at least one week earlier than he had been. The idea is that if he makes his initial calls earlier, he gives people more of a chance to call back within a window he can work with, rather than making every call so urgent.

* Another big one was that–like many folks–he didn’t want to ask for help, or admit that he was stuck, and then sorta hoped I wouldn’t notice. Which of course I did. So I told him that when he’s stuck, he needs to ask for help. He didn’t have to ask me, per se, but he needed to ask someone, and he had many experienced colleagues to choose from.

A few days after our chat, Brian came up to me. He told me that the days immediately following our talk were his most productive ever, and that my suggestions to him were the reason.

Now [i]that [/i]was pretty cool.

As with Brian, my overall goal is to help as many people as I can be successful, in whatever ways they define success for themselves. Sometimes I’m in a position to help, sometimes I’m not. But when I see an opening, I usually take it. And even whey I try, it doesn’t always go according to plan.

But it’s really nice when it works out.

Post edited by: rcolchamiro, at: 2007/02/14 13:54

Post edited by: rcolchamiro, at: 2007/02/15 16:44

Is it me, or is it getting a just little hard to swallow on 24 with Jack’s brother [i]and [/i]Dad being the ubervillains? With each week that story line just seems a little bit more ridiculous.Is it me, or is it getting a just little hard to swallow on 24 with Jack’s brother [i]and [/i]Dad being the ubervillains? With each week that story line just seems a little bit more ridiculous.

I’ve been really into the Billy Joel 12 Concerts Live. It’s a compilation of the current tour he’s on, where he mostly played his favorites, even though some of them weren’t necessarily hits. I saw three of those shows at the Garden, and they were amazing. He hasn’t sounded this good in a decade. And the 12 Concerts Live is really, really good.

My only disappointments were that he didn’t include that awesome version they played of Highway to Hell, when his roadie "Chainsaw" did thI’ve been really into the Billy Joel 12 Concerts Live. It’s a compilation of the current tour he’s on, where he mostly played his favorites, even though some of them weren’t necessarily hits. I saw three of those shows at the Garden, and they were amazing. He hasn’t sounded this good in a decade. And the 12 Concerts Live is really, really good.

My only disappointments were that he didn’t include that awesome version they played of Highway to Hell, when his roadie "Chainsaw" did the vocals. It was so cool. And he also didn’t include Pressure on the live album, which has always been my favorite Billy Joel song. And I would have loved had he played Easy Money on the tour, which I’ve never heard him do live. Oh well.

But really check out the horn sections. He’s got two saxophones going during a bunch of songs, and it’s great.

After Liz?s scare the other day, we went to the doctor for a follow-up. They took a chest x-ray, an echocardiogram and an EKG. Liz was feeling a bit better at this point, but her chest was still a bit sore and she was in pain when taking deep breaths. And after a major heart operation, how do you really know what?s just one of things you shouldn?t worry about, and what?s serious.

So we?re erred on the side of caution and took the tests.

It was still a few hours in-between getting the cAfter Liz?s scare the other day, we went to the doctor for a follow-up. They took a chest x-ray, an echocardiogram and an EKG. Liz was feeling a bit better at this point, but her chest was still a bit sore and she was in pain when taking deep breaths. And after a major heart operation, how do you really know what?s just one of things you shouldn?t worry about, and what?s serious.

So we?re erred on the side of caution and took the tests.

It was still a few hours in-between getting the chest x-ray and seeing the cardiologist, so we had time on our hands. And as I?m sure you?ve experienced for yourself, when you?re worried about something, the worst thing you can have is unoccupied time, when there?s not much to do but sit and think.

And since we had the actual chest x-rays with us, we decided to take a look. It didn?t take but a few seconds to notice something on her right lung.

Not a misprint. Something. Big. On. Her. Right. Lung.

It was about the size of my fist. It was white. It was obvious.

You try not to over-think things and stay positive, but we?ve seen enough episodes of ER, House, CSI and Grey?s Anatomy to know that a BIG, GIANT MASS on her lung isn?t good. Maybe it?s not as bad as we might think, but it certainly isn?t good. We?re wondering if maybe she needs to get another chest tube to drain her lung, or maybe there?s something worse going on in there.

It was about mid-day at this point and we finally saw the cardiologist. He was a little surprised to see us at all, given that Liz had been doing well up to that point. But he looked at her chest x-ray, and within just a second or two, his expression couldn?t have been more obvious.

Laughter.

He turned to us and said, ?so why exactly are you here??

Liz and I kinda looked at each other, feeling a bit sheepish. We explained that Liz had some sharp back and chest pain the other day, it hurts when she breaths. And, oh yeah, what?s with the giant mass on her lung?

And without missing a beat he says, ?that?s her stomach.?

Huh?

Well, shows me that all that medical TV isn?t the equivalent of graduating from medical school after all.

Turns out Liz probably just strained a muscle. The cardiologist said that her heart sounds great, her test results are good, and her chest x-ray, despite our initial concerns, is crystal clear.

So I guess it just goes to show that when it comes to medical-type thingies, maybe I just need to trust the specialists a little bit more before I start diagnosing and reading lab tests.

Who knew?