Simon’s a Ball Stomper!

We’ve only had Simon a few days, so of course we’re still learning as much about him as he is about us. So far I can say that he’s fun, he’s funny, he’s good tempered and seems to really like being with us.

And of yeah, he’s a ball stomper!

$#@!

Simon is on the smaller side–only about 25 pounds–so he’s just the right height that when he jumps up on his hind legs to play, it’s the exact position where his paws line up perfectly with my balls.

Seriously.

In just thWe’ve only had Simon a few days, so of course we’re still learning as much about him as he is about us. So far I can say that he’s fun, he’s funny, he’s good tempered and seems to really like being with us.

And of yeah, he’s a ball stomper!

$#@!

Simon is on the smaller side–only about 25 pounds–so he’s just the right height that when he jumps up on his hind legs to play, it’s the exact position where his paws line up perfectly with my balls.

Seriously.

In just three days he’s nailed my junk at least a half dozen times, either when he gets on his hind legs, or he just jumps on the couch to get some attention. And it’s not that he gets me a half inch to the side of either of my balls. He finds them dead on, like he’s got some infrared ball tracking system and locks in.

Just a little to the left … a little more … a little more …. whamo!

So now I’ve taken to sitting on the couch, and walking around the apartment, with my hand over my crotch so the darn dog doesn’t crush ole lefty.

Thing is … it gets worse.

Sunday afternoon I took Simon out for a walk. We exited the elevator on the first floor, and came upon our next door neighbor, coming in from outside, with one of his dogs, Virginia. Virginia’s a fairly big dog, and pretty aggressive at that. Still, we let the two dogs say hello–they’d met once before–and all in al they did quite well. Virginia sniffed Simon’s place, Simon sniffed hers, and all was well with the world.

Too well.

Apparently deciding that Simon is a good dude, Virginia let her guard down, and in what I’m assuming was a playful mood, jumped up at me for attention. And where did her big paws land? You guessed it. Right smack on my balls!!!! She doubled me right over.

I’m buying a cup!

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