Are My Blackouts in the Past?

I?m used to strange things happening to me. I seem to be traveling through this life slightly off-center, with odd little happenings that have only increased in frequency as I?ve gotten older.

But this one is just goofy, and I don?t understand it. Even though I?m a writer, even though I’m a journalist and editor?even though I?m a [i]certified English teacher[/i]?for reasons I can?t account for, I have this weird mental block, this strange case of the yips, regarding the difference between [I?m used to strange things happening to me. I seem to be traveling through this life slightly off-center, with odd little happenings that have only increased in frequency as I?ve gotten older.

But this one is just goofy, and I don?t understand it. Even though I?m a writer, even though I’m a journalist and editor?even though I?m a [i]certified English teacher[/i]?for reasons I can?t account for, I have this weird mental block, this strange case of the yips, regarding the difference between [i]past[/i] and [i]passed[/i].

Intellectually, I realize that [i]past[/i] has essentially four main uses:

As an adjective ? I watched 70 Yankee games in the past year.

As a noun ? The past is the past. It?s time to move forward.

As an adverb ? The cars drove past.

As a preposition ? Joe is past the point of help. He?s a gonner.

And I also realize that [i]passed[/i] means:

As a verb – The Yankees passed the Mets in public favor with their very excellent playoff position (woo hoo!).

As an adjective ? Jerome is a passed student (i.e., he successfully completed the course).

(In all fairness, I ?know? all this because I just looked it up!)

And yet no matter how many times I refer to these points on [i]past[/i] and [i]passed[/i], when I?m writing, I hardly ever get it right. It drives me crazy! I just have this mental block?a case of the writing yips?that I can?t seem to overcome. (Notice I didn?t say, I can?t seem to get [i]past[/i] it?because my brain won?t let me know if I did it right!).

Even when I did my student teaching, I had to present the lesson on [i]past[/i] and [i]passed[/i] with the teacher?s version of the textbook, and even then I was barely holding on!

It?s the spazziest thing, I know, and yet it?s real. For whatever reason, my brain hears the word [i]past[/i] or [i]passed[/i]?or sees it written?and goes … [i]uh? What, uh … what am I supposed to do with this? Is it alien?[/i]

I’ll be writing, and then I’ll write something like, [i]and no matter how many times Roy passed the station, he felt a tug of sentimentality[/i]. And then I’ll think … wait, how many times Roy [i]passed[/i]? Or [i]past[/i]? No, no, it’s [i]passed.[/i] Right? Isn’t it? No, wait, wait, wait, it’s [i]past[/i]. No, it’s [i]passed[/i]. Right. It’s [i]passed[/i]. Definitely [i]passed.[/i] … Is it [i]passed[/i]? Is it [i]past[/i]? To the point that neither word has any meaning to me anymore and I’m yanking my hair out!

Arrghh!!

I realize this isn?t quite the end of the world, but as a writer, journalist and English teacher, it?s difficult for me to comprehend or accept. So what do I do? After several bouts with this madness, I?ve chosen to just let it go, and let the copy editors deal with it.

I don?t typically let my responsibilities fall on others, but the amount of time it takes and Agata it gives me to futz with these words until I get them right simply outweighs my desire to overcome the problem. So I just shake my head, shrug my shoulders and chalk it up to one of those things.

Weird.

(For another case of my yips, go the [i]Philosophy, Myth and Culture[/i] section of the Message Board, with a bizarre story about my experiences as a young golfer).

Post edited by: rcolchamiro, at: 2007/10/24 05:40

Subscribe / Share

Article by Russ
Authors bio is coming up shortly.

Comments are closed

NEW BOOK RELEASE! SciFi Noir

Blunt Force Rising

You Could Be Reading...

Murder in Montague Falls

Blog Archives

Goodreads

Russ Colchamiro's books on Goodreads
Finders KeepersFinders Keepers
reviews: 10
ratings: 303 (avg rating 4.00)