The Pitch – Revised

For the last month or so I’ve been telling people about my book–which I’m really excited about–and yet the reactions I’ve been getting to my 20-second pitch haven’t been wielding the overall response I’d hoped for. So I started treating it like a comic testing out new material–let’s see what tweaks I need to make reshape the pitch.

And I think I’ve got it. I realized that the pitch I was giving wasn’t giving the scope of the novel in a way that gives it justice. With this new version, I For the last month or so I’ve been telling people about my book–which I’m really excited about–and yet the reactions I’ve been getting to my 20-second pitch haven’t been wielding the overall response I’d hoped for. So I started treating it like a comic testing out new material–let’s see what tweaks I need to make reshape the pitch.

And I think I’ve got it. I realized that the pitch I was giving wasn’t giving the scope of the novel in a way that gives it justice. With this new version, I think I’ve remedied that, plus, I think the hook works far better.

Here’s the way I’m discussing Finders Keepers now:

What if, in some distant corner of the cosmos, there is a gossipy, Hollywood-like realm devoted solely to development of the Universe? And what if creation of planets, moons, stars and the like require but a few drops of the Universe?s DNA, which is stored in a protective glass jar? In regard to Earth, what if the supervisors assigned to overseeing its construction were unqualified and inexperienced? What if they were also newlyweds, who made love on the job site? And in doing so, what if they accidentally knocked that jar into the still-forming planet below, where it was lost for billions of years?

Fast forward to present day Earth, when wannabe-English teacher Jason Medley, one of the heroes of FINDERS KEEPERS (approximately 120,000 words), is stuck in that netherworld between college and a career. He reluctantly quits his go-nowhere waiter job on Long Island, N.Y., to backpack across Europe. There he meets Theo Karnes, an adventurous New Zealander who has already stumbled upon the hallucination-inducing jar?that won?t open?unaware of what?s actually inside.

As the new friends travel from city to city, trying to outrun their impending adult responsibilities, they encounter Lilly, a young, sultry painter with a secret agenda, a haunted past and a habit for finding trouble. Meanwhile, Earth?s banished galaxy designer and her talking brown Labrador, the newlyweds with a famous friend, and a drag queen with a dream each have designs for Theo?s jar, forcing all involved to decide what really matters to them most, and why.

Traversing Europe, New Zealand and the backbone of Eternity, FINDERS KEEPERS not only tackles friendship, loyalty, sex and desire, but also God, reincarnation?and what really happened to the dinosaurs.

I’m going to be talking a lot more about this revised pitch–it’s really energizing me–but I wanted to get it out there and see how I feel about it. So far, so very good.

More on this very soon …

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