Ten years ago I worked in a small publishing company in the Flatiron District of New York City, where a guy in my department said that he hated food. He said food was a nuisance, and he wished he could do without it.
Naturally, I rolled my eyes and made faces. He was being bizarre and ridiculous, and I told him so. I mean, how could you not like food?
Well, now I?m getting those very same looks because I?ve gotten to the point where I can?t stand food either. Now, before you join theTen years ago I worked in a small publishing company in the Flatiron District of New York City, where a guy in my department said that he hated food. He said food was a nuisance, and he wished he could do without it.
Naturally, I rolled my eyes and made faces. He was being bizarre and ridiculous, and I told him so. I mean, how could you not like food?
Well, now I?m getting those very same looks because I?ve gotten to the point where I can?t stand food either. Now, before you join the fray and start rolling your eyes at me?like my wife and dad did just last night?at least hear me out first.
I love a good meal, I just can?t stand having to deal with food.
Think about how much food we put into our bodies, and why. Even if you go by the standard pace of three meals a day?breakfast, lunch and dinner?and don?t count snacks of any kind, that equates to 21 meals a week or 1,092 meals a year, which comes to just under 11,000 meals in a decade. And if you live to be 85, that?s pushing 90,000 meals in a lifetime.
90,000!
There?s only so many turkey sandwiches I can eat before I can?t stand the site of one. Or ham and cheese. Or PB and J. Or tuna fish. Or whatever.
Sure, I?ve got my favorites?if only pizza and bacon cheeseburgers helped me lose weight?but just having to [i]think[/i] about food, about having to make a decision about what to eat, is a pain in my you know what.
Food is fuel. Food keeps our engines running. And a few hours after we eat we have to refuel. And again. And then again, again and again. Imagine if you had to go the gas station three times a day [i]every … single … day [/i]in order to keep you car running. I mean, every day. Wouldn?t that annoy you to no end? Wouldn?t you just get sick of having to even think about it?
If it was up to me we would be able to swallow a pill?gulp?that would give us all the fuel and nutrition we need for the day. And on those occasions when I was in the mood for something tasty, I?d eat a meal the old fashion way. I would pick out something scrumptious to enjoy?pure pleasure. Otherwise, I?d gladly settle for the gulp.
Yeah yeah, I know, I know. Having to eat regularly sounds like a strange thing to gripe about. There are plenty of people in the world who would kill just to be able to eat three meals a day. So it?s not like I don?t recognize that my problem isn?t really a problem.
When I really think about it, I?m not annoyed with the actual food, but having to [i]deal[/i] with food. To go shopping. To prepare the meals. To put mental energy into picking between mayo or mustard. To think today about what I need to eat tomorrow. We?re all so overworked and maxed out, that making time to prepare meals?to even think about preparing meals?has become an exhaustive annoyance.
Something ain?t right here. I gotta get my head straight on this one, because by my calculations, I?ve got a whole lotta meals ahead of me. And unless somebody?s holding out, there?s still no pill for that.
