Over these last months I’ve talked about the query process with agents and even about some of the sometimes bizarre and hilarious rejection notices I’ve gotten.
Last week–after a bit of a quiet period following that last surge of yeses–a few rejections trickled in. And one of them just tickled me, because I’ve gotten a few like them before.
I always know when an agent’s response to one of my queries is an unequivocal no when the envelope the letter comes in ISN’T EVEN SEALED! I mean,Over these last months I’ve talked about the query process with agents and even about some of the sometimes bizarre and hilarious rejection notices I’ve gotten.
Last week–after a bit of a quiet period following that last surge of yeses–a few rejections trickled in. And one of them just tickled me, because I’ve gotten a few like them before.
I always know when an agent’s response to one of my queries is an unequivocal no when the envelope the letter comes in ISN’T EVEN SEALED! I mean, how hard is to seal an envelope? Seriously. You know someone can’t be bothered with you when they consider the energy it takes to actually seal an envelope and think, [i]nah, too much[/i]. [i]Just stick the no in the envelope and if it falls out somewhere along the way, so be it. What do I care?[/i]
Now, when I say they aren’t sealed, sometimes they’re actually not sealed–the flap is folded over into the envelope. And sometimes, like with this last letter, only the very tip, just that little triangle in the center, is moistened to touch just the very tip of the other side, barely hanging on. It’s like the rejection letter equivalent of a hangnail. It’s slightly painful, it’s annoying and it’s barely hanging on … barely. Just this limp, lame excuse of an existence, and easily cast aside.
Whenever I get a response letter from an agent, I get a little anxious, wondering if it’ll be a yes or no. When I get a hangnail letter, let me tell you, there ain’t much suspense there. But it’s so lame that I can’t even be annoyed that I got the rejection letter. Anyone who would send a letter like that isn’t anyone I would want to deal with anyway.
So for all the agents out there who can’t bother to exert enough energy, to, you know … PROPERLY SEAL AN ENVELOPE … how about next time, you invest another two seconds of your time and show a little respect. Hm? Maybe? Whadaya think?
Great. You’re a peach.
Well, at least give it some thought, and while you’re mulling that over, I’ll be sealing an envelope in my mind with your name on it … and hope it doesn’t fall out.
