A few nights ago I was having dinner with a few people, and we started talking about Imus and his "nappy-headed hos" comment. And not long into the conversation I realized something about myself that I can’t seem to shake.
When I first heard about Imus’s comments, the words that most offended me was "nappy." I took this as a racist comment that he had no business uttering. I doubt that he’s actually racist, but said it simply for shock value. But it was a terrible–and A few nights ago I was having dinner with a few people, and we started talking about Imus and his "nappy-headed hos" comment. And not long into the conversation I realized something about myself that I can’t seem to shake.
When I first heard about Imus’s comments, the words that most offended me was "nappy." I took this as a racist comment that he had no business uttering. I doubt that he’s actually racist, but said it simply for shock value. But it was a terrible–and stupid–thing to say. My point is, I was focused on "nappy."
But a few people I was with–women–were far less offended by the word "nappy" as they were by "hos." Up until that moment, I hadn’t thought of it that way. I took "hos" to be the far less bothersome phrase, and now that I’ve had a little time to think about it, I can see that I was far more focused on the words he used than the context in which he used them. Imus was talking about female basketball players. Talented, hard-working women who compete at a very high level, who can only remain at the level through consistent determination.
So, indeed, calling them "hos" is pretty horrible. It degrades them as human beings. More horrible than "nappy-headed?" I don’t know that it’s important to distinguish, or if there’s a way to do so. We’ll call this one a two-fer. Imus doubled up on his sickly insults.
For me, however, it reminded me that there’s a tremendous distinction about perception, among all people–and all types of people–including gender. That men and women see the world differently, through a different looking glass. I’m not saying better or worse, per se, but different. And it’s got me wanting to learn more about how women at large view the world, because I clearly have much to learn. I consider myself to be a pretty understanding guy who’s genuinely interested in the plight of others, but I’m reminded once again just how easy it is to get caught up in my own concerns, unintentionally overlooking that there are many other ways to perceive and interpret the world around me. Mine is but one point of view.
I have much to learn. And here’s one place for me to start.
